


I'm Sorry

by grimdarktrickster



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, M/M, Trans!John, Transphobia, math tutor au, trans!roxy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-03-07 03:26:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3159464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grimdarktrickster/pseuds/grimdarktrickster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk and John get paired up to be math tutors for one of their professors and Dirk gets a bit more than he bargained for. (Incomplete and no plans on finishing)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is literally my first fic so im hoping to get better with this along the way
> 
> suggestions would be nice tho

"You did a great job, Dirk. Keep up the good work.", Ms. Paint, your professor, whispered to you as she weaved through the desks, handing back last week's test. It was almost the end of your last class and you were ready to get out of this hell hole. You don't mind math, in fact you love it, but today's lesson had left much to be desired. Not to mention the rest of the day had been a little taxing. 

You glance down nonchalantly at the paper in front of you. Another 100, nice. You were definitely prepared to reward yourself with a quick jog back to the comfort of your apartment. Unfortunately a small note at the top of your paper shut down that plan real quick. 

'I will need to see you after class for a minute. Don't worry, it's nothing bad!'

Yeah, that's definitely not going to make you worry. Oh god, you hope she isn't going to ask you to join her math club or team or whatever it is. You've had a sneaking suspicion since the beginning of the semester that she's going to pounce on you with something like that. Damnit, why did you have to be amazingly gifted in math and not mediocre like everyone else in your class? You should've downplayed it, at least then you wouldn't have to worry about everyone finding out that "Cool Kid Strider" is a total math geek. But you know what, that's not the most pressing issue right now. You've got bills to pay, student loans to cause a relapse of your chronic depression, the crippling fear that you'll never find a significant other, platonic or otherwise. You can't be wasting your time worrying about your reputation in a school as shitty as this despite the fact that it'll follow you until you graduate... Yeah, just shut up now. 

You hear clapping from the front of the classroom and look up to see your teacher dismissing the class fifteen minutes early. Well then, maybe staying behind won't mess up your evening routine after all. On the other hand, you would've been delighted not to hear your roommate fucking his girlfriend through the much too thin walls of your neighboring bedrooms. But hey, maybe they'll decide to actually go on a date this time. 

The classroom quickly clears as students scramble over each other to make it to freedom. Your feet drag as you meander behind them, dreading the conversation you're about to have. You make your way to the teacher's office, waving the test as you walk in. 

"Oh, Dirk, good to see you saw the note. Take a seat, I'll be back in just a second." She gestures towards the chairs in front of her desk before walking back into the classroom. 

You plop down onto the seat and lay your head against the back. This better be worth your time, there is a buttload of homework on your desk just waiting to be finished. If you even bother to start it, that is. 

There's suddenly the sound of footsteps outside the office and when you look through the doorway you see your teacher tugging someone behind her. You can't quite see their face since you're sitting down, but from this angle you can slightly see a little bit of shaggy black hair. 

"Just sit there next to Dirk, if you will. You two can talk while I get a few things together." The person moves past Ms. Paint as she returns to the classroom yet again. 

Your eyes follow them as they walk towards the desk in front of you. They sit on the edge and hold their hand out to you, your eyebrow raising in question. 

"My name's John. Nice to meet you.", they say with a grin. You nod and shake their hand, murmuring your own name. You're finally able to get a good look at their face and it seems a little too feminine for someone with the name John. Not to mention their voice is higher pitched as well. You would assume they're a guy because of their name, but you've always been taught it's rude to assume such things so you'll hold off on that for now. 

They start babbling on about something, but you can't really help but stare at them, tuning out the sound of their voice. Sweet baby Jesus they are really hot, goddamnit.  
Just your luck that you would be left in such a small space with someone so fucking cute. You start to interrupt them, but as soon as you do, Ms. Paint walks back in. 

"Alrighty boys, let's get down to business. John, if you could please take a seat in a chair that would be lovely." She nods towards the seat next to me as she moves around the desk to sit in her chair. John does a little salute as they hop off the desk and into the chair. My god, what a dork. 

"So Dirk, did John here already explain what this meeting is for?"

"Yup! I told him all about it while you were out.", John chimes in before you could answer. Well shit. You probably should've listened. 

"So what do you think? I would really appreciate it if you accepted the offer." 

You clear your throat and look around nervously. "Um, well, I uh...I-"

"You weren't listening were you?" Ms. Paint interrupts and purses her lips as she crosses her arms. 

"Not really, no.", you admit rather sheepishly. 

"Alright, well, I was wondering if you would like to be a math tutor for my classes. Math tutors are in high demand around here and John is the only one I have. It would be nice to at least have two so I could split the jobs in half instead of leaving it all for poor John here. You would be paid as well. In fact, it's the highest paying job on campus..." She continues explaining all this stuff as you think it over. Not that much thinking is required. Money's involved, it sounds easy and you'll get to hang around someone as cute as John. It's practically a done deal. 

"I'll do it."

You can see the surprise reflected on her face as she looks up from some papers. "Really? Well, that was easier than I thought. I was almost sure it would take a bit of work to convince you." She laughs quietly as she shuffles around the papers on her desk. 

"I kind of need the money, so I don't really mind tutoring people." 

"Of course. But really it's quite a surprise since you're always so adamant about keeping how gifted you a secret."

Oh shit. You really didn't think about that. It seems like you're going to have to make an exception for that because you'll be damned if you give up an opportunity to be around John. 

"Hey now, let's not remind him of that! We don't want to have him change his mind.", John adds. They won't have to worry about that happening until they stop being so fucking cute. 

You shake your head and laugh. "No, I'm sure I want to do it. I don't really care about that right now." But seriously, you really do need that money, John's more of a situational bonus. 

"Yay! I'm really glad you're doing it. Teaching all these kids is sooo fucking annoying", John squeals. 

"John, language!" "Sorry, ma'am."

You smile behind your hand as John grins, obviously not sorry in the slightest. Ms. Paint shakes her head, but you're almost sure you can see her smile just a little. 

"So would you mind starting today? I would understand if you couldn't, this being on such short notice and all." Ms. Paint leaned forward as she talked, making it known that she definitely wanted you to start now and probably wouldn't take no for an answer. You really didn't see a problem with starting right off the bat. Besides, you weren't looking forward to going back to your apartment all that much. Y'know, roommate getting it on with his "one true love" and all that bull. 

"Yeah, I'm cool with starting now. I don't really have any plans so it's fine." You shrug as Ms. Paint hops up from her chair, delighted with your answer. 

"Oh, that's really great! Thanks a lot...uh, what was your name again?", John asks, tilting their head to the side like a little puppy. You would be annoyed and a bit hurt, but you can't find it in yourself to feel that way about John. 

"It's Dirk.", you say pointedly, trying to hint at your slight annoyance. 

They don't seem to catch it and continue to grin in their rather endearing way. "Okay then Dirk! People should start coming in soon so we need to go back to the classroom." They stand up and move towards the door as they tug at your arm. 

"Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go." John bounces up and down as he pulls, looking very much like an excited child. You wave them off and push yourself out of your chair. 

"Yeah, yeah I got it. I'll be there in a second." You make a shooing motion as you talk and John gives a thumbs up, turning around and quite literally skipping their way to the classroom. 

Ms. Paint laughs behind you as you watch John go. "He's quite energetic, to say the least. I hope you can keep up with him." He? So John is a guy? Well, you'll ask them yourself later. 

"That shouldn't be much of a problem. I'm kind of used to it." You shrug and turn to leave before Ms. Paint stops you. 

"Don't worry about doing stuff on your own today. Just stay with John and see how he does things." Oh now THAT won't be a problem at all. You'd pretty much planned to do that anyway. 

"Yeah, I'll do that." You wave over your shoulder as you go, making sure to grab your bag before walking out the door. 

Oh boy, this better turn out great because you are not all that okay with this tutoring shit. You bet Ms. Paint used John to lure you in. She somehow guessed you were into guys and got the cutest one she could find to convince you to tutor her stupid ass students. Why couldn't she do it herself? Isn't it her job as a goddamn teacher? If the students couldn't do some simple as hell math, doesn't that say something about her teaching skills?

You trudge into the classroom, grumbling profanities under your breath. John's sitting at a table in the front, facing away from you. You wonder if now could be a time to make a move, but you dismiss that idea real quick. Only an idiot would do that, and you're far from being that stupid. 

You pull out the chair next to and drop down onto it, pulling your legs up into a criss-cross applesauce position. John doesn't look up from the papers he's shuffling through. 

You clear your throat and speak, "So, um, John could I ask you something?" If this is the best way you can bring up their gender, you sorely need to work on socializing. 

"Yeah, shoot!"

"What...what is it exactly that you do?" You chicken out and internally slap yourself. You need to stop being so afraid of offending people, goddamnit. But gender is a bit of a touchy subject to a lot of people, so it would be rude to ask so bluntly. 

"Tutor, you dummy." They're grinning again like they're the funniest person in the world. You continue to be amazed at how much of a dork they are. 

"No, I mean like teaching strategies and stuff."

"Oh! Well, I honestly don't do much. The people that come here actually want to be tutored, so they don't really play around. I just let them tell me what they need help with and we work it out from there. It's usually fairly easy misunderstandings but sometimes there are some cases that are a little harder to crack." 

You nod as they gather the papers in front of them and hand half to you. 

"Those are the latest tests of the people who're coming in today. We'll start by going over them." 

The stack looks to be at least ten tests thick. Just how many people come here? You sift through them before talking again. 

"How long does it usually take you to finish up here?"

"Ummm, the number of people that come everyday varies since you have to sign up ahead of time, but it can take up to two maybe three hours."

"Seriously?!"

"Of course not, silly! The longest I've been here is an hour and a half." That grin is back on John's face as you glare at them. You mumble a few colorful phrases under your breath while they giggle their cute little head off. 

"...When are they getting here?", you grumble, slumping down in your chair. John points towards the door as it opens and about fifteen students filter in and fit themselves around the table. You recognize a few from your class but the rest are complete strangers. Perfect. 

"Looks like we're missing a few, but we'll go ahead and start then catch them up as they get here.", John whispers to you before standing up and clapping their hands, getting the attention of the multiple students. 

"Alright then, while we're waiting for the rest of you we'll go ahead and start going over the last test. Since I now have someone else to help me, half of you will be with him and the other half with me." They motion to you as they talk and you can feel everyone's eyes on you. You shift your gaze to the ceiling, wanting to avoid eye contact with anyone. 

John looks down at you and nudges your side. "Dirk, get up. You can take your half to that table over there. Do you think you handle teaching on your own, or do you want to have me do all of it?" This time there isn't a trace of a joke on their face and they look completely serious. Guess that happy-go-lucky demeanor doesn't stay all the time. 

You drag yourself out of your chair and carry it over to the table John mentioned. They announce who'll be staying with them and the rest bring their chairs over to your table and situate themselves around it. 

"So, um, I'm Dirk. I guess some of you already know that..." You fidget around a bit, not sure of what to do, before a girl next to you takes the tests in front of you and passes them out, putting the extras back. You give her a small nod in thanks and she smiles. She definitely seems pretty nice. 

"Well, since I don't know most of you, why don't y'all go around and tell me your names?" The girl that passed out the papers goes first, and you note that her name is Aranea. 

It doesn't take too long for them to finish and you spend the next hour of your day being more frustrated than you ever thought possible.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little tense with the introduction of a new character but it's nothing the great Dirk Strider can't handle. 
> 
> (This causes some new tags to be added.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy, I really cranked this one out. I really didn't expect to have as much time on my hands this week as I did so this was finished WAY before I expected. This probably won't be normal so please don't expect this for future chapters. But unfortunately this chapter might be a bit shorter.

You can feel a hand on your back, shaking you rather gently. That is most definitely not your bro, like your hazy mind believed the mystery person to be at first. 

"-irk... Dirk. Dirk motherfucking Strider I swear if you don't wake up so help me god.", a voice warns. You don't bother responding at first. This is the best sleep you've gotten in weeks and hell, there's no way you're going to give that up. 

The shaking gets a bit more forceful and you groan. Can't they see you're trying to get your snooze on here? Those students were frustrating as shit and you need to reset your fried brain. 

Suddenly your head is tugged up by your hair, sending sharp pains through your head. You're definitely awake now and entirely prepared to kick the ass of anyone who dares to jeopardize the perfectness that is Dirk Strider's hair. 

You grab that persons wrist and tug them towards you. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing?", you ask through gritted teeth. 

"It's time to go, Dirk." Oh, it's just John. You let go of them and slump down in your chair. 

"But I'm so tired..." You stifle a yawn behind your hand and look at John sleepily. 

They just sigh and pull out your chair and tip it, dumping you on the floor in an unmoving, sleepy lump. "Come on you big baby. You can sleep when you get back to your dorm." 

You clumsily get up and stretch. "I live in an apartment.", you say, oh so eloquently as you rub at your eyes like a toddler. 

John hoists your bag off the floor and puts it over their shoulder. "Let's go then. If you don't get your butt moving you might not get dinner. The cafeteria closed half an hour ago but I think that Chinese restaurant down the street is still open." Chinese sounds good, it's practically been your staple food since you started school here. 

"Yeah I'm pretty sure it is." You remove your bag from John's shoulder and start walking towards the door, ready to say your goodbyes before you feel John loop their arm around yours. 

"Let's get a move on then!" They're grinning up at you like an angel and suddenly you're confused. 

"Uh, you mean both of us?", you ask, not exactly prepared for someone to tag along. Privacy is your number one rule, and you're not exactly sure if John could be an exception. 

They look a little shy and let go of your arm, taking a step back. "Well, I um, only if you want to, I guess. I'd understand if you don't. I just thought since I'd be going anyway, it would be nice to get to know you a little better. But we did just meet so you don't really have to go..." They keep nervously babbling on, and you're not sure if they're going to stop anytime soon. You sigh and shake your head before you place your hand on their shoulder, stopping the flow of words. 

"I don't mind going with you as long as you stop talking like that." You have to mentally stop yourself from saying "going out" but it probably wouldn't have mattered considering how John is right back to their usual giddy self. 

"Alright then! Let's move!", they exclaim, wrapping themself around your arm again.

"What about Ms. Paint?"

"Don't worry, she left twenty minutes ago." They huff in frustration before moving behind you and quite literally pushing you out the door. They pretend to dust off their hands once you're out and turn around to lock the door behind you. 

"There we go!", they say before they go right back to pushing you out of the building. 

You look back at them as they struggle to move you. "You do know that's not necessary, right? I learned to walk on my own 'bout seventeen years ago, fell on my face often enough." 

They quit pushing and look nervous once again. "S-Sorry, I'll stop..." 

"Nah, it's fine. Let's just hurry before they close too." They nod quietly and move to the door, opening it for you. 

It's almost dark by now but miraculously still warm. You start to head to the parking lot to get your car out of instinct before remembering that you have company. You look to your side to see John following you rather closely, looking a little wary. 

You raise your eyebrows and nudge their side. "You okay?" They jump at the sound of your voice before hesitantly nodding. What happened to the extremely giddy person that you met in the classroom? This was such a drastic change that you were starting to get a little worried. 

"It's just that I have this...friend of sorts. I've tried to avoid them lately but they usually get out of a class around here at this time." 

You want to know a little more, but you'd rather not pry since you don't know John all that well. You try to hurry towards your car before John freezes at a shout of "Jane!". 

A rather tall man walks towards the two you, wearing a grin nearly identical to John's. You can feel John tense up next to you, looking like they were trying to disappear. 

He jogs up to the pair of you, waving vigorously. "Hey Jane! Gee wiz, I haven't seen you in quite some time. Almost like you were avoiding me!" At first you're confused about who Jane is, but then you figure it must be John. That means that this is probably the "friend" they've been avoiding. 

The guy looks at John's outfit and laughs. "There you go wearing those boy clothes again. I must say, you looked much better in those dresses you used to wear. They really suited you." Dresses? What the hell is this guy talking about? You're about to say something before John cuts you off. 

"I'm sorry Jake, but I need to go. I haven't eaten since breakfast and I'm super hungry. I'll, uh, I'll talk to you later." John hurries away, leaving you rather dumbfounded. 

The man, Jake you presume, turns to you and holds out his hand. "The name's Jake English, nice to meet you.", he says, smiling. He seems a little too cheery to you but you brush it off. 

"Dirk Strider." You shake his hand quickly, not really wanting to be around him for much longer. 

"My cousin didn't tell me she made any friends. She's always been rather shy so it's a bit of a surprise." 

"John?", you ask. He must have the wrong person for sure. The little spitfire you just met is in no way shy. Well, at least most of the time. 

"I don't know who this John character is, but I'm talking about Jane, the girl you were just with." You're starting to get some really bad vibes from this guy. 

"Oh, right, uh that's who I meant... Th-She doesn't really seem all that shy to me." You internally cringe at the pronoun that you know somehow is incredibly wrong. 

"Really? That's good, I guess. Just, um, be a little careful with her. She had this delusion that she's a boy for a long time. She's just confused, poor girl. I've tried to convince her to go to counseling for years, but she refused every time. She's quite stubborn. I'd suggest not bringing it up, she goes off on these rants every time you do. It can get pretty old after awhile. Well, I've got to take off. See you around!" With that he jogs away, heading in the direction of the dorms. 

Oh boy, you already know you're not going to like him. Now you can see why John avoided him. You wouldn't want an asshole like that hanging around you either. 

You find John behind a car a few parking spaces away. You can see them doing something on their phone, tapping at the screen angrily and muttering under their breath. 

"Hey John, Jake just left. Do you wanna hop in my car and go to the restaurant?", you ask. They just nod absent-mindedly before tapping out a few more things and putting their phone away, looking at you expectantly. 

You lead the way to your Jeep and help John in before starting it and heading to the Chinese restaurant. 

You're not exactly sure how you should take this situation. This was not the sort of stuff you'd usually want to get into. John's not even a friend really. It's none of your business. But maybe you'll bring it up at dinner. You're apparently going to be spending a lot of time with them because of your new job, might as well get some things cleared up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not quite sure if this went in the direction I wanted. I planned a few things that I wanted to happen earlier but sometimes I have problems steering the story to where I want it. I'll just have to roll with this, I guess.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This might be the start of a disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, I really didn't plan on this chapter taking so long. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll turn into one of those authors that just randomly stops updating. Nevertheless, I would really like to thank all of those who have left kudos especially one of my favorite authors, Muucifer. All of your support has kept me motivated to keep writing even though sometimes I'd rather not.

The ride is silent, much too silent for your liking. You're used to music blaring from the speakers and taking up a lot of room for thought. But now you're forced to think and you're not all too happy with what's going on in your head. All of this is not what you expected when you agreed to be a tutor. This is a whirlwind of sudden drama that you did not sign up for nor are you all that ready to participate in. You're close to wishing that you had ignored the note and just gone to your apartment. That's definitely a miracle in and of itself. 

Out of corner of your eye you can see John looking out the window and tapping on the door. You want to make him more comfortable but have no idea how to. He might not like your taste in music but honestly, if you don't relax soon you might actually implode, no joke. You take a chance and get his attention. 

"Hey John?" He jumps and looks towards you a little nervously. Okay, you need to work fast because you have no idea how to act around someone so timid. You need that excited and giggling John back. 

"I was just wondering if you would mind a bit of music?", you ask, a little unsure if you should try to be more polite or something. Courteous isn't exactly your forte so you're a kind of at a disadvantage right now. 

It obviously doesn't matter as he brightens up tremendously at the question. Damn, his mood swings are giving you whiplash like you would not believe. But in a way you can understand why he'd be a bit nervous. Some serious shit went down only a couple of minutes ago and though it might not seem major, it appeared to have affected John tremendously. If something like that happened to you, you probably wouldn't want to talk about immediately after either. 

"Yeah, that would be great!" John exclaims. He immediately starts to fiddle with your radio, probably looking for a specific station. You stop him and pull out your box of CDs while trying to keep your eyes on the road. 

"You can pick something out of here and nothing else.", you say as he place the box in his lap. 

"What?! That's not fair!"

"My car, my rules." He seems to pout for a second before digging through the box and picking a CD out, placing it in the slot. Immediately a strong bass blasts out of the speakers making John yelp and jump in his seat, nearly hitting his head on the ceiling. 

You can't help but laugh, quietly at first but it quickly gives way to a loud, barky laugh as John tries to collect all of the CDs that flew out of the box. He gives you a dirty look before joining in himself, putting the box back in his lap and turning down the speakers. 

"Gee Dirk, if that's how you keep it, I'm surprised you're not deaf yet.", John teases. You've lost count of how many times people have told you that. Though honestly, you sometimes ask yourself the same question. 

"Don't worry your cute little head, I've already learned a good amount of ASL so I'm prepared for the day I do finally lose my hearing, seeing as how it's completely inevitable." 

John giggles like you've told the best joke in the world. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, man. I may not actually lose my hearing but I'm pretty fluent in sign language. Had a childhood friend who was mute and she taught me a lot. I've always kept up with it so I'm still able to use it most of the time.", you explain, feeling like that might be a little personal. But all in all, it probably doesn't matter. Some kinda personal shit has happened within the last two hours of your life so it's probably all good. 

"Really? That's so cool!", John says in amazement. You look over for a brief second and see him looking like a starstruck child. 

"Dude, it's not like I learned every language known to man and then some." 

"Yeah I know. It's just that I haven't met anyone that knew sign language. It sounds pretty amazing to me." 

You nod as you turn into the parking lot of the restaurant only to see that it had already closed about forty minutes ago. 

"Are you fucking kidding me?", you say as you drop your head to the steering wheel. "I am not prepared to go without food tonight. If I do I might finally murder someone." Sure you're exaggerating, but your stomach has been growling away for hours since you made the stupid decision to forgo lunch. 

"Don't worry about it. They still do delivery until two a.m. so we can just go to your apartment and order some." We? Your apartment? You raise an eyebrow and turn to look at John. 

He seems to get what you mean and immediately becomes flustered. "N-No, we both don't have to! I, uh, I can just go back to my dorm and order some!" You laugh and lightly punch their arm. 

"It's fine, dude. My apartment it is." You pull out of the lot and continue on down the road, this time heading to the apartments a couple of minutes away. 

"We really don't have to, Dirk. I don't want to impose on your personal space, and if you have a roomma-"

You cut him off quickly. "I said it's fine John, you don't have to worry. I'll even pay for it." You expect him to start refusing the idea of you paying for him but he's surprisingly quiet. You don't blame him, though. A lot of people you know here are rather short on money and would in no way pass up the chance for a free meal. 

You arrive at your apartment complex soon after and you hurry to park and get out of the car. You make your way to the other side and open the door for John, waiting until he got out to close it behind him. 

"Why thank you Dirk, I feel like such a princess.", he jokes as he does a curtsey. 

You play along bow low. "It's my pleasure Your Highness." He laughs loudly at that. He's definitely easily amused. 

You laugh along with him and walk towards the door. He trails behind you and you make your way to your apartment quickly. As you open the door and turn on the lights, you notice a paper lying on the kitchen table. It's probably from your roommate, Sollux. John shuts the door behind you as you pick it up and read it. As soon as you see the swirly handwriting you can tell that it's actually from Sollux's girlfriend. 

'Hey Dirk, 

I finally convinced Sollux to have a date night of sorts with me. He was a tough nut "two" crack! ;) So anyway, we'll be staying at a friend's house tonight. You'll have the apartment to yourself and probably again for the whole weekend. Hope it's not too much of a problem, but I doubt it will be. 

Aradia'

Oh yeah, it's not going to be a problem at all. You're not able to bring people over all that often so this is great. 

Sollux hates other people being in the apartment, something about being in close proximity to all of his tech stuff. You understood that so the two of you came to the agreement that no one else is allowed except romantic and/or sexual partners. Well, his word was "girlfriends" but you're absolutely sure the same thing applies to anyone else. 

You crumple up the note and toss it in the trash. When you turn around you see John standing awkwardly next to the couch in the living room. You laugh and drop your bag on the kitchen table. 

"Lighten up, Egbert. The only people here are you and me, you don't have to be all dainty.", you tease. He scratches the back of his head and shrugs, looking a bit embarrassed. 

"Just a habit, I guess.", he admits. You nod and dig in your pocket for your phone. 

"You know the number of the place?"  
John nods and you toss your phone to him. "You can use that. There's no password right now so you can order while I go change." 

"I can just use my phone, Dirk."

"Yeah, but I want to put the number in my contacts later."

"I can just give it to you, dummy."

"Sure, whatever."

"So what do you want?"

"General Tso's chicken. Tell them to make it extra spicy. And pot stickers, they have great pot stickers." 

"What? Oh come on, we should get spring rolls. Those are way better."

You two spend a good ten minutes arguing over the sides before you finally reach an agreement to just order both. John calls and starts ordering as you make your way to your room. 

You make sure to step carefully over all the junk that litters the floor. You nearly twisted an ankle four days ago and now is not the time to actually make that a reality. Because you have a guest over, you contemplate cleaning up quickly. In other words, shoving everything into a drawer or the rather large closet. 

You decide against it since you highly doubt that John'll be coming into your room at any point tonight. At least you would think so. 

As you start to undress, you hear your phone ringing. You pull it out of your pocket and look at the name. Roxy, of course. You accept the call and put the phone to your ear as you attempt to take off your pants. 

"Sup Rox?"

"Hey Dirk! Sooo I heard from Aradia that you've got the apartment to yourself. Mind if me and Rose come over for a bit?"

"Uh, I kind of have a guest over so I don't really th-". You're cut off mid-sentence as a squeal pierces your ear. 

"Dirky's got someone, hm? Well it's about time if you ask me. You've always been so mopey, maybe they could help. Oh my god, is it a boy?! Please tell me it's a boy. Then I can call him your boy toy. Do you have a boy toy, Dirk?"

"No, Roxy. He's not my boyfriend. He's just a...friend."

"But you hesitated. He is your boyfriend! Oh my god, I'm coming over now. Need to make sure he's the right material for my brother. Derick's not here to do it but I trust myself to judge rightfully in his place."

"Roxy, please don't. He's not my boyfriend. We're just two friends hanging out at my apartment." 

"Sure, I'll be judge of that."

"Roxy, do-!", you're cut off once again by the sound of the line going dead. Oh boy, this isn't going to go great, you can just feel it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of stuff that I brought up in this chapter that I'll need to address and elaborate on but worry not because I defintely will. But I'm still not sure if this is how I want things to go and if I'm taking things too fast. Oh well, I'll burn that bridge when I get there.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Got some weird character intros for you all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no excuse for this chapter taking so long, sorry  
> plus it might be a little short but thats what it takes to get these out sooner since im one lazy motherfucker

So the threat of Roxy showing up might be looming over your head, but you've got to admit, hanging out with John has proved to be even better than you originally thought. He's absolutely hilarious and comes pretty close to beating your ass in Mario Kart. It's only because of his cheap tricks though. There'd be no other way, for sure.

It really shouldn't be taking Roxy so long to get here since she only lives an hour away, but you're 99% sure Rose is doing something to hold her back. She won't be able to keep her away forever, but she should be able to buy you at least two hours. You'll try to remember that you owe her a favor later. 

"Hey Dirk?", asks John, shifting a little uncomfortably in his seat next to you on the sofa. 

"What's up?"

"Does it feel sort of hot in here to you? I've already taken off my jacket but it's still really warm." You'd both already stripped as much as is socially acceptable in the presence of an acquaintance but you were damn near taking off your shirt and pants to escape the nearly unbearable heat of your apartment. Despite it being slightly chilly outside, it feels close to a sauna inside. 

"Yeah, sorry man. Our heat's broken and goes crazy, sometimes gets it to the 80's or 90's in here. Even when we try to use the AC, it just shuts off five minutes later. You're welcome to take a little more off." You wiggle your eyebrows and he just punches your arm. 

"You're so stupid, jesus." He giggles as he talks and you're relieved that he's not creeped out or anything. But seriously you might just take your shirt off. 

"Do you mind if I take my shirt off though? I'm incredibly hot, in more ways than one, and I'd rather not drench the couch in my sweat.", you say, fanning yourself for emphasis. 

"Ew, that's disgusting. Yeah, go ahead and take it off." He waves his hand in your direction as he bends over the arm of the couch and digs through his bag. 

You smirk and pull your shirt over your head just as someone knocks on the door. 

"God fucking damn it, I swear to god..." You sigh and push yourself off of the sofa, putting your shirt back on. 

John leans over the back of the couch and rests his chin on the top. "Who's that?" A yawn punctuates his sentence as he scratches the back of his head. 

"I might have a good idea.", you grumble, trudging towards the door.  
You're ready to be incredibly snarky but as soon as you open the door your mood changes dramatically. 

"Delivery for uh...John Egbert?" An older looking man stood outside your door, holding a plastic bag in his hands. It was most likely your food. You were so distracted by hanging out with John that you completely forgot. 

"Oh, yeah that's for me." You smile at him as you accept the bag and pull out your wallet to pay. He's quick to wave you off, saying that it had already been paid for. You frown and thank him as you close the door. 

"John, food's here. The delivery guy said it was already paid for but I don't know what that's all about." You place the bag on the kitchen table and start to unpack its contents. John rushes up beside you and makes quick work of grabbing his food. 

"That's certainly weird.", he muses as he walks back to the couch, arms full of food. 

"John did you pay for it?", you ask as you trail behind him. 

He looks at you and smiles. "Yeah I did. They have my credit card on file there since I order so often. But it's the least I could do since you let me stay here. Not to mention you're a really big help with the tutoring. It's just a thank you gesture, I guess." 

You mutter your thanks as you both sit back on the couch. 

"Y'know I just met you today, but you definitely seem like a pretty cool guy.", John states as he opens his sesame chicken, poking around inside and looking like he was sporting the beginning of a blush. 

"Yeah man, you too. I guess I'm kind of looking forward to spending time with you. Um, at tutoring." You quickly correct yourself, feeling as if your previous wording was a little too...intimate. 

This had been a rather weird day though. You and John had become acquainted only a few short hours ago, and yet it's almost like you'd been best friends for years. That's the kind of relationship that you only hear about in books and movies, but it's apparently become a surreal reality for you. 

You both start eating and talking, taking short breaks to play on your roommate's Playstation. Before long you hear another knock on the door. 

"Well well Dirk, aren't you the popular guy?", John teases. He moves to get up but you quickly beat him and rush to the door in record time. 

"Haha, yeah I guess so." You really don't want to open the door, but this situation was most likely inevitable. You sigh and unlock the door, opening it slowly to reveal a smiling blonde clad in pink. 

"Heya Dirk! I came over just like I said. Rose was a bit of a downer and and tried to keep me home but I eventually escaped her talons. Or claws, I suppose. She was a piece of work let me tell you." Roxy was as bubbly as ever, the complete opposite of what you'd been used to for years. 

"I'd suggest not saying such things when I'm right here, Roxy.", sighed Rose, clacking her way down the hall in one of her many pairs of designer heels. Your cousin was pretty loaded due to whatever "work" she did, but knowing her, you've never wanted to ask any questions about that. 

"Good to see you again Dirk." Rose nods at you and you return the gesture. 

"Same to you, I guess. But uh, why are you here exactly?", you ask. 

"I just thought it wise to keep an eye on Roxy. She's been riled up about seeing your...boy toy, I believe? I'm not too familiar with that term, but I'm assuming that means you found some sort of boyfriend." She smiled coyly, almost as if she knew something you didn't. You're almost willing to bet that she does.

"C'mon Dirk, let us in! I wanna meet your boyfriend!" Roxy pretends to throw punches at you like she's trying to fight her way in. 

"He's not my boyfriend Rox, I just met him today.", you grumble, entirely ready to force her away if necessary. 

"Oooh, just like Romeo and Juliet...", Roxy sighs. 

You might be reading into things more than you should but Roxy seems a little too enthusiastic today. Almost like she's trying to hide something. You wouldn't put it past her though, she's always tried to suppress her emotions. It used to be because your parents didn't really like her showing any emotion because it wouldn't be 'manly', they definitely wanted the perfect male heir once you became the family disappointment. She was still a good sibling despite that, but you had hoped that after her transition she would be more open all the time and while she is, there are still those few times where she tries her best to not let anyone know what she's feeling. You're both free of your parents and able to be yourselves but sometimes she subconsciously reverts to the way she used to be. No one else can really tell, but you've become used to her mannerisms over the years. 

You sigh and open the door wider, moving out of the way. "Just come already. I'm sure you've already disturbed the neighbors more than they deserve."

Roxy comes in first with Rose trailing behind her. You quickly close the door and move into the living room where John is splayed out on the couch, picking chicken out of the box and dropping it into his mouth. 

He stops when he sees you coming over and sits up. "So who was at the door?" Before you can answer Roxy comes over a plops herself onto the seat next to John. Rose follows and sits in a chair across from the sofa. 

Roxy holds out her hand and introduces herself and Rose to a seemingly confused John. He hesitantly shakes her hand as he introduces himself as well. 

"Well then Roxy, now that you've met him you can leave. Please.", you say as you sit next to her. 

"Oh come on Dirky! I haven't even got to talk to him yet!", Roxy pouts, leaning onto you and pushing the armrest uncomfortably into your hip. 

"You've said hi and now you need to say bye." You grab her arm as you get up, dragging her along with you to the door. Out of the corner of your eye you see Rose get up and go towards John, no doubt saying goodbye and apologizing for her cousin. 

Roxy wrenches her way out of your grip and turns to you, looking quite livid. "Dirk Strider, just what do you think you're doing? I'm trying to meet a friend of yours and you try to rush me out in less than three minutes of me being here. I did nothing wrong so you have no right to kick me out! Are you forgetting who helps pay for your half of the rent? With as much as I've helped you before, I practically own a fourth of this place!" She was stage whispering at this point, ranting on and on about how she should stay. You guess you kind of are in the wrong for trying to get rid of her so fast, but you did try to tell her not to come over in the first place. 

Rose hushes Roxy when she walks over and tries to assist you in getting her to leave but you stop her and wave her off. 

"No, it's fine, she can stay...", you sigh, defeated. Roxy squeals and hugs you before skipping back into the living room. 

Rose nudges your shoulder and looks at you from the corner of her eye. "Just met him today, hm?", she asks with a small smirk.

"Yeah, I'm working with him to tutor some of our math teacher's students."

"How kind of you Dirk, I never assumed you'd be the kind to actually help those in need. It's a pleasant surprise, to say the least." She turns to you and looks to be extremely concerned. 

"I really didn't come here just to keep Roxy at bay.", she confesses. "I'm more here to keep an eye on her. She's been acting rather worrisome lately, but she won't tell me what's wrong. Please talk to her before we leave, I'm hoping that she'll say something to you." Rose pats your arm and smiles then walks into the living room. 

You run your hand through your hair and sigh. If Rose had to come to you about something, it must really be a problem. Your day has gotten progressively worse and you're not so sure if you can handle all of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED AT ALL GODDAMNIT I REALLY TO NEED TO LEARN HOW TO PLAN AHEAD


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter? Unfortunately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that my chapters have become progressively shorter but I've had a lot of stuff come up. I wanted to get another one out before a month since my last update so I had to cut some things. So please bear with me on all future delays. I'll try to make the next chapter much longer but that could take awhile depending on my schedule, so yet again, I apologize.

You join the group situated around the living and listen to Roxy "interrogate" John. Whenever you glance over at him he looks kind of nervous and you can see him looking at you occasionally for help. When Roxy takes a break to get some food from your fridge, the Chinese on the table long since cold, you reassure him that it's not so bad. Sure, Roxy can be overwhelming at times but she really is a good person once you get to know her, as cliche as that sounds. 

As you're talking to John in Roxy's absence, Rose comes behind you and whispers in your ear. "I think it's about time we take our leave, wouldn't you think?" She pats your head softly before walking into the kitchen. You take that as your cue to attempt to make Roxy talk about whatever it is Rose is worried about. 

You excuse yourself from the comfy spot next to John and make your way to the kitchen. Rose waves you over to where a furious whisper battle seems to be taking place. 

"Roxy, you need to talk to him! I'm starting to get rather concerned about you."

"Eff that! I'm not talking to him if there's nothing to talk about! You and your psychology degree are always trying to get in my head and blow anything and everything out of proportion! I'm pretty sure I'm quite capable of looking after myself!" Rose looks slightly offended before putting her poker face back on. 

You hadn't put family drama on your schedule today and it was certainly getting too late to squeeze it in. 

"Alright you two I really don't want any of this fussing here right now. I'm tired as hell and have classes in the morning so I need you to shimmy on out of here." You warn, preparing yourself for the whines that could come from Roxy at any moment. To your surprise, she instead nods her head and trudges to the living to retrieve her stuff. You can hear her exchanging goodbyes with John before she comes back to stand by the front door. Rose kisses your cheek, no doubt leaving a smudge of black lipstick, and ushers Roxy out of the apartment. 

Their retreat was rather quiet, a welcome change to Roxy's loud, occasionally drunken, way of announcing her departure. You really do care for her more than you could put into words, not that you'd admit it to anyone else, but sometimes she's just too much. She'll always be your baby sister but that doesn't mean she can't annoy you sometimes. 

You go back into the living and fall into one of the chairs, hands over your face. John makes a small noise and you look between your fingers to see him still sitting on couch uncomfortably, face red and a small black mark on his face. You can easily guess where it came from.   
You get up and move to the couch again. 

"Sorry about them. Well, Roxy mostly. I really didn't plan for them to come over. My roommate's girlfriend blabbed that I had the apartment to myself so Roxy came over even though I told her not to." 

"No, it's fine. Roxy was...interesting." He stopped to wipe at the spot of lipstick, effectively smudging it even more. "Ugh, is this stuff permanent or something." 

"They use lip stains or something, one of those that lasts practically forever. You'll be in your grave before it comes off." 

He just snorts and starts to rub fiercely at the smudge. "You have some too you know." 

"Excuse me, this is the mark of family. You are now and forever instated into the Stri-Londe family."

"Stri-Londe?"

"Yeah, Roxy's and my last name is Strider and Rose's is Lalonde. Though Roxy plans to change hers to Lalonde in a couple of months." 

"Really? Why?"

Well shit, you didn't think he'd ask. You're an idiot for thinking that though. Anyone would probably be curious as to why someone would change their name to their cousins. 

"...Just some family stuff. It's not that important." Except it is important. Really fucking important to be exact. But John certainly hasn't known you long enough to hear any of that. One day doesn't exactly constitute an all-access pass to your life. 

"Oh, that's cool. Um, Dirk, I really think I should go, it's getting pretty late..." 

"You can just crash here. We have a guest room you can sleep in."

"But I do have really early classes. I wouldn't want to inconvenience you so early in the morning." He's getting all fluttery again, waving his hands around and trying to pack up his bag. 

"John, you're entirely welcome to stay here. It's too late to walk home alone I'd be fine with driving you to class tomorrow, I have some early ones too." 

He smiles gratefully and nods. "That sounds great, thanks Dirk." You lead him to the guest bedroom and he sets his stuff on the bed. 

The apartment was originally for three people, but you and Sollux were able to pay for it all yourselves so you never really bothered to look for a third roommate. You just turned the extra room into a place for guests, despite you never really having any. Aradia always sleeps in Sollux's bed with him so the guest room gets no use at all. 

You leave him to get comfortable and head to your room to get undressed. Your chances earlier were interrupted by your food being delivered and you never really tried again afterwards. You shift aside all of the crap in the room to create a make-shift path to the bed. You strip down to just your underwear and go to the kitchen to get something to drink, shutting the bedroom door behind you. 

When you step into the kitchen you see John has the same idea. He's filling a bottle with water from the tap. You hope it's his own and not one of Sollux's because that guy absolutely loathes people using anything of his. Even Aradia has her own designated cups and cutlery. You're surprised she can put up with a guy like that. 

You open the fridge and pull out a bottle of water. John turns around as he screws on the top of the bottle and drops it when he sees you, spilling a little water on the floor. 

"O-Oh my god, I'm sorry. You just scared me a little." He grabs a few paper towels from the counter, but you beat him to the floor with a towel, already wiping at the spill. 

"It's not a problem.", you say. He just nods and picks up the bottle. You finish drying the floor and throw the towel onto the counter. John squeaks and slips past you, moving quickly to the guest bedroom. What the hell had gotten into him? You're pretty sure he would've heard you open and close the fridge, the damn thing's door is as loud as a train when you move it. 

You're learning that John is quite the enigma. An absolute puzzle. You don't think you've ever dealt with someone so confusing and "wishy-washy", as Roxy would say. And this is just the first day you've known him! Things just escalated so quickly that you absolutely forgot that he hadn't been a part of your life before today. This partnership tutor thing might be a little harder than you thought. Or just weirder, maybe? Honestly you have no way of knowing so you'll just have wait and see, something you absolutely hate to do. 

Your bed is practically shouting at you at this point, telling you to get your skinny, pale ass under its sheets and go to fucking sleep. You're incredibly drained at this point from the usual awful school day, the tutoring session, and the completely unwarranted visit from Roxy. It's probably best to just listen and get some well deserved rest then possibly skip school because hell, you've earned that shit. 

You sleepily navigate your way to your room and flop down onto your bed with your legs hanging off. The triangular shades on your face fell off somewhere, hopefully nowhere that puts you in danger of being stabbed. You crawl your way fully onto the bed and pull the covers over you and fall into a deep sleep almost instantly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whats this? an update after over a year? so ive had what is in this chapter sitting in my notes since last november and i kind of want to get it out. this is not everything that would have been in this chapter, i stopped about halfway through, but i honestly have no motivation to write anymore and also homestuck has ended so yeah. i may revisit this in the future but for right now, thats not much of a possibility. i have other fics that im working on as well as school coming up not too long from now. im very sorry if you wished to see this to completion but please accept this small, albeit unfinished, chapter as my apology.

The next two months of your life move by in a blur, everything the same every day like clockwork. Wake up, skip breakfast, drive to school, pick up John on your way, listen to him attempt to tell his newest jokes, go to classes, meet up with John afterwards, do some tutoring if it's your day, go back to your apartment. You fall into the rhythm pretty quickly, surprising to you at least. 

There's never been a chance to put some moves on John though. The two of you have grown kind of close, as cliche as all of this is, but it's never really happened. Sure, you're interested as all hell, it's just that you don't know how he'd feel about being asked out by his best brofriend. At least you would like to think that's what you are to him. 

He's been hanging out with Roxy a lot lately, not to your surprise. To be honest, they just work well together. You'd be worried that Roxy shares your goals when it comes to John, but you lost all qualms when you caught her trying to seduce one of the girls in her theatre class. You could tell that she'd been focusing her sights on that particular girl for awhile, but you never really knew her intentions until now. You'd met her once long enough to know that she is definitely not your type of person. You can see why Roxy likes her though. She's spunky and quick to lash back with her words, someone that Roxy would find "entertaining". You just leave the whole thing alone and avoid bringing anything up. 

Your first year at college had brought you more to deal with than you would've wanted, that's for sure. You'd hoped that all of your stress would disappear when you finally left home for the last time, but the universe just wasn't having it apparently. It's not like you mind, though; you like a little stress in your life. It keeps you grounded, to say the least. 

A weight is dropped at your feet on the bench you're lying on. You attempt to kick it off but it's held fast by some mysterious force. It's probably John. 

"Dirk come on, please get up." John lifts the open book from your face, nearly blinding you with a sudden flash of sunlight. "Will you stop acting like some brooding anime guy long enough to come to tutoring? You've been doing this almost every day now." You groan and ignore him, flipping yourself over to shield your eyes from the sun. 

"Oh my god, what a baby!" John exclaims, getting up from the bench and presumably heading towards the math building. "When you're ready to get your lazy butt to the classroom, you know where it is." You listen to his footsteps get softer and softer until they're gone before sitting up. 

Skipping your tutoring job had become more of a habit than a decision. It wasn't the greatest past time, obviously. And even though you were paid, it still didn't seem worth it. Hanging out with John was the only good part of it and you could do that almost any other time. Besides, the students there hardly ever need any tutoring, especially that girl Aranea. She's probably better than you, to be honest. 

A yawn escapes your mouth as you stretch your arms. The hard wood of the bench really made your back sore. What you would give to go back to the comfortable softness of your bed. You quickly adjust your shades before grudgingly going to the mathematics building. 

Ms. Paint gives you the same glare as always when you walk in late. She hasn't said anything yet, but it's quite clear that she doesn't appreciate your tardiness. It's still a job, after all. 

At your usual table is your group with Aranea walking around, no doubt teaching in your absence. She gives you a look almost identical to your teacher's. 

"Well, I thought I would have to tutor all by myself, AGAIN. It sure is a shame I'm not the one getting paid for such a job.", Aranea sneers. At first you really did like her but now you're not exactly having the same sentiments as before. 

"Yeah yeah, that's great to hear. Why don't you take it up with Ms. Paint and see if you can take over my job. I'm sure she'll be absolutely thrilled.", you shoot back, sitting in your chair and angrily snatching up your paper for today. 

Aranea huffs and sits in her chair as well, looking thoroughly annoyed. The other students at the table are looking at each other nervously and with good reason. You and Aranea have been arguing more and more often and over the course of a few days those arguments had gotten rather physical on occasion. Nothing too bad, of course. Punches have yet to be thrown but there's been a good amount of slapping and pinching. Fortunately, though, Aranea looks too worn out to do anything today. 

You finish up with the review as quickly as possible and dismiss the students you were working with. Some days were better than others but it was most definitely a rare occurrence.


End file.
